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Confessions of a Reluctant Disciple

Sharing realistic, usually unconventional, observations from the arsenal of a slightly qualified prayer warrior

The #Significance of our #Insignificance #amwriting

I took a bike ride this weekend.  Not just any bike, but a motorcycle.  Not just any motorcycle, but a Harley.  With cushy seats and a smooth ride.  The imperative part is I trusted the driver.  The fun part is I got to be a passenger.  I am never the passenger.

As a single mom, I’ve always been the driver, and it felt like I was always driving somewhere—school, work, the grocery store, wrestling practice, band practice, football games, wrestling tournaments—well, you get the picture.  And even if I was driving, I rarely got the opportunity to just look around and marvel at the world because I was always on my way somewhere, and usually we were in a hurry, so the focus was point A to point B.

So, I really enjoy getting to be a passenger.  I look around, I feel the air on my face (I always wear a full helmet, but there’s still air), I hear road sounds, I see deer and bunnies and birds and cows.  It is very tactile, and it fulfills my tactile need.

This time, something else hit me.  As I was looking around and seeing things and feeling things and smelling things (there were a couple of skunks…), I looked up—mostly because the threat of rain was hovering and I periodically studied the clouds—and as I studied the clouds, I really noticed the clouds.

MC2

There they were, all white and gray and round and fluffy and straight and whispy, in the ginormous blue sky.  Here I was feeling all taken care of with good weather and a safe ride, being one with nature and what not.  Everybody now…oohhmm.  But then I suddenly felt very tiny.  I was a tiny chick on the back of one Harley riding down one road in one city of the whole world.

And I felt insignificant.

As I was praying for good weather and a safe ride, and being thankful for the opportunity to be out in nature, something I always do, my tiny-ness made me wonder why I even matter, how my existence has any impact on the world—the huge, giant, busy world that goes on about its business not caring one whit that I was thoroughly enjoying myself cruising along as a passenger.

As I watched the birds swoop in the air, I thought, “Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them.  Are you not much more valuable than they?” (Matt 6:26)  But I still felt insignificant.

Which led me to reflect on a quote I’d just read by Albert Einstein that said, “When you look at yourself from a universal standpoint, something inside always reminds or informs you that there are bigger and better things to worry about.”

And finally I thought of a giant puzzle, not the wimpy 100-piece ones, but the big ones with thousands of pieces.  What if one single piece is missing?  I don’t know about you, but I freak out.  Do all that work and one piece is missing?  Look at the hole!!  Of course, that made me think, “There is one body, but it has many parts.  But all its many parts make up one body.” (1 Cor 12:12)

We need all of the puzzle pieces, whether center or edge, because they all serve a function to the completion of the puzzle; they are all significant.  Just like every person has an impact on the whole of what goes on in the world.  No matter how insignificant we may feel to ourselves, we are significant to others.  We fit in the world, and each person also is a world, following their own, individual journeys.  Which reminded me of one last thing, a favorite quote by Dr. Seuss:

“To the world you may be one person, but to one person you may be the world.”

Insignificance

I am thankful for the occasional feelings of insignificance.  Without them popping up every now and then, I might not contemplate them, I might just truck along at status quo, and then I might never be reminded of my significance.

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Becky is a single mom and a reluctant disciple, called to share her journey with others.  Join her to discover how life happens on these groovy trails.

That One Voice: A pre-Mother’s Day reflection

Disclaimer:  This one is really personal.  And kind of sappy.

Some of us are lucky to have one person in our lives—a close friend, a sibling, a spouse, a pastor, Jesus—who we know we can turn to if we are troubled, someone we can always rely on for words of wisdom, an “atta’ girl” when we need it, or a “suck it up” when that’s more appropriate.

As a Christian, we’re supposed to say that our one voice is Jesus.  We can always turn to Him and listen for His word, pray for guidance and wisdom.  We can always get what we need and want straight from Him.  That is true and real and available.  And it works…sometimes.  Sometimes, though, we need a tangible hug, and a tangible voice.  You know what I mean.

That’s a whole other blog and a whole other message.  Don’t hate me because I’m beautiful, I mean because I’m being honest, but I have to confess…

My one voice isn’t Jesus.  It’s my daughter.

Psalm 127:3 ~ Children are a heritage from the Lord, offspring a reward from him.

I have been blessed with two remarkable, intelligent, genuine, amazing children.  My son, Zachary, has made me so proud serving our country and now going back to college.  He has a strong voice that—just keepin’ it real, as my former pastor used to tell us—sometimes perturbs me and causes great episodes of consternation, but he is true to himself and forthright with others, if not a little rough still around the edges.  But the love in his heart shines through, like when he checks on his mom like he did when he called me at 11pm last night to see how I was doing in the hail storm.

With Mother’s Day coming up, I started reflecting on what it means to be a mom and what my journey has entailed thus far, and what it continues to embrace as my kids get older and go into different phases of their lives.  I am blessed to be able to watch them blossom, and to still be there as their mom (or “mommy”, depending on the day).

My daughter, Hannah, and I have a special relationship.  We are so close and I cannot fathom what I did to deserve this kind of a blessing.  We have been told we look alike, sometimes act alike, and her friends and mine have commented about how remarkable our relationship is; some have even said they’re jealous.  This delights me, not at their jealousy, but at what they are jealous of.  Yes, that sentence ended with a preposition.  Suck it up.

Hannah has become the one voice above all others I can count on in any situation.  She has grown to be wise and insightful, and she says things out of the blue that hit the right target.  God has grown her and filled her with a light only He could provide.  And I am truly thankful to be the recipient of that.  Sometimes.  When we aren’t hormonal at the same time.  Then it’s a little dark.

Both kids seemed wise beyond their years growing up.  There were times when, as a single parent, I had to learn to be humble.  I learned that just because I was the adult or the parent, I was not always right.  I still had things to learn.  A.  Lot.  Of.  Things.  And sometimes, I would learn these things from my kids.  When I lost a ring my son had given me for Christmas when he was five years old, I sobbed.  I was heartbroken that I had lost his gift to me, and I was afraid he would be hurt that I had lost it.

But he ended up consoling me!  He told me it was okay, he knew it was an accident, and he loved me.  We went out the very next day and bought a duplicate, and I’ve worn it now for 22 more years.  Children are amazing creatures.  Sometimes I think God blesses us with them; sometimes He teaches us with them.  Sometimes, it is phenomenal; sometimes it is painful.  But, all of it is an experience like no other.

I lobbed an idea past my daughter this morning.  I have a lot on my plate right now, and I am seriously freaking out about a lot of things.  I shared what I was contemplating and she knocked that idea on its butt cheeks.  My decision was grounded in fear and that was the wrong way to approach it.  She told me, in her words, that I would essentially be making a mistake to avoid a mistake and I should forge ahead, even in the face of the fear.  “High risk, high reward.”  Who says that?!

She does.  To me.  When I need it most.

1 Thess 5:11 ~ Therefore encourage one another and build each other up, just as in fact you are doing.

Because she is good at building others up, not just me, but everybody with whom she comes into contact.  That’s her light.  She’s been given a mind to find the right words, and a voice to express them.  And God gave her those gifts.  So maybe my one voice truly is Jesus.

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Becky is a single mom and a reluctant disciple, called to share her story with others in her unconventional way.  She knows God equips her for her journey, and she does her best to trust in His plan for that journey, and not to judge others on their journeys…unless they say she eats too much chocolate; then she can’t be friends with them anymore.  But she will pray for them.  Join her to discover how your plans and God’s plans come together in this life filled with groovy trails.

Last Week on Inquisitr (4.3-4.10.16)

Last week, I published these articles on inquisitr:

Monday, 4.4.16 There was a major data leak that is still being investigated a week later.  Rich business owners, heads of state and country leaders’ names are on documents linking offshore bank accounts to possible money laundering and tax evasion.  The fallout is yet to be seen…
#PanamaPapers #Gunnlaugsson #moneylaundering #Panamaleak

Tuesday, 4.5.16  After yet another campus protest based on yet another racially motivated charge, students at #PrincetonUniversity have opened a dialogue.  Campus authorities decided to keep #WoodrowWilson’s name on campus buildings and programs because of his positive contributions to the history of the school and the U.S.; however, there will also be new programs that will directly address the negative aspects of his racial beliefs at the time he was president.

Thursday, 4.7.16  #AmySchumer was upset with #Glamour for using her in their plus size issue, however, they swore it was a celebration issue.  But it opened another much needed conversation about weight and health and #bodyimage in the U.S. and what each one of those things mean.

Friday, 4.8.16  Two male soldiers from #FortHood attacked a female soldier from their unit after catching her with another male soldier.  The injuries they gave her sent her to the hospital and led to the two attackers being arrested.

As always, feel free to click and share.  And comments are always welcome.  Let me know what trending topics you would like to read about!

Be safe.  Be blessed.

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